tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318569302012-01-23T15:21:47.139-08:00Making the world safe for science, one supermodel at a time.Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1521100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1164996618891345382006-12-01T10:07:00.000-08:002007-03-21T15:11:33.040-07:00

I Have MovedI have moved to www.scienceandsupermodels.com.Please update your bookmarks.Of course, if you want profound science from me and other legendary internet scientists, come see me at ScientificBlogging.com.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1164007675557091002006-11-19T23:27:00.000-08:002006-12-04T07:18:40.600-08:00

Bond. Cash BondPeople who have known me for a long time know that when I am not dazzling the world with scientific brilliance, I am a Formula One race car driver who also solves mysteries on TV. What the rest of you may not know is that I was also the star of a major motion picture. It was a different take on the James Bond story - I played an American spy who pretends to be a scientist and

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154243233530943412006-11-14T07:06:00.000-08:002006-11-14T22:10:05.606-08:00

Surest Sign Of The Apocalypse - No More BlondesAccording to this article, researchers at the World Health Organization have claimed that the last natural blonde will be born in Finland in 2202. And the BBC version tells us German scientists have claimed this is due to decreasing frequency of the recessive gene for blonde hair.The SkyNet article states that when the last Ice Age ended 11,000

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1162967617734833512006-11-07T22:33:00.000-08:002006-11-07T22:34:34.806-08:00

The Mens Guide To Dating A Geek Girl V 1.0Let's face it, sometimes we get tired of dating models. Sure, they clean up well but it gets annoying having to tell her she's beautiful a hundred times a day and the cocaine bill gets expensive.You might think you have no hope of getting an attractive low-maintenance geek girl and I am inclined to agree ( that you can't anyway ) but I would rather light

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1162917819825446812006-11-07T08:42:00.000-08:002006-11-07T09:11:52.216-08:00

Face Recognition, Emotions And Why I Will Be The Next Jackie ChanDynamic face recognition may be one of the last frontiers for quantifying why some of our simplest brain functions have difficulty being matched by computers. As a kid, when computers were more basic, it was easy to see the differences between my brain and the power of a computer. When I played baseball I knew the instant the

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1162536538647700872006-11-02T22:48:00.000-08:002007-01-31T12:14:39.243-08:00

How Math Can Save Your Marriage - An Interview With The Author Of Geek LogikEver have someone tell you a certain pesky question can't be answered scientifically? Garth Sundem is here to help. He's the author of Geek Logik and it's his business to help you mathematically solve life's most pressing problems.Garth has created plug-in numerical solutions that help you make decisions while

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1162527814360122512006-11-02T20:23:00.000-08:002006-11-02T20:24:42.916-08:00

Guns, Guitars And GreenpeaceAs a younger man, I was a big fan of Greenpeace. As time went on, I thought they lost their focus by branching out from protesting nuclear weapons to whaling and trees and basically hanging out a shingle that said, "If you send us money, we will protest for you." I watched them change from instilling their people with scientific literacy to educating their people on

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1162409937314930612006-11-01T11:36:00.000-08:002006-11-01T11:39:34.926-08:00

Science Determines The Media Is Just Too Darn Suggestive These DaysWith all this business about girls dressing like tramps and articles stating that 140 incidents of sexual behavior occur on prime-time network television each week I am starting to worry that the media might be a tad over the top.Sure, you will automatically dismiss that kind of talk as an aging guy romancing the days of his youth

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1162155128824852302006-10-29T12:12:00.000-08:002006-10-29T13:41:24.953-08:00

New York City Declares War On Good FoodIt looks like the bibs are coming off in New York City. The thing that advocates of good food have long feared is about to happen; New York City will be the first to ban trans fatty acids.Know why McDonald's fries tasted better when you were a kid? Trans fatty acids - and a lot of salt. Do they taste as good today? Of course not. The only people who

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1161835831047017322006-10-25T21:09:00.000-07:002006-10-28T17:03:59.046-07:00

Science Has Bad News For Goth Chicks - Vampires May Not Be RealGroundbreaking - and heartwarmingly unessential - research done by University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has attempted to confirm what a generation of suicide girls has always feared - that vampires do not exist.His reasoning? On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was just over 530 million people. If one

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154893263302433222006-10-24T07:40:00.000-07:002006-10-24T09:02:01.696-07:00

AstroGlide - The Video GameIf there's one thing I hate it's rumors about me and women I am not actually nailing. And, frankly, this thing about me and Kate Beckinsale has gotten out of hand. I am not responsible for the collapse of her marriage, no matter how bad it looks.Okay, because your opinion of me is important, here is what happened: I happened to be in an internet cafe in Japan and

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1161382828058718242006-10-20T13:18:00.000-07:002006-10-20T16:00:21.076-07:00

When Good Girls Go BadI guess the NY Times is just discovering that Halloween is the perfect time for women to let out their inner tramp.Men knew this. Hell, we invented Halloween many years ago for no other reason than to get Celtic women out of those ill-fitting robes and into some cool outfits.Even seeing that picture makes me feel all piratey. If she were here I'd totally make her surrender

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155287116589145822006-10-19T07:02:00.000-07:002006-10-19T13:31:38.333-07:00

Scientists Discover An Underwater UPS Truck from 2300 Years Ago And Other Shipping NewsThe best stuff happens with Greeks. An undersea robot has discovered a Greek ship from 350 BC containing ceramic jars of olive oil, wine and whatever else Greek ships carried back then. Imagine that advertising slogan: "We deliver in six weeks or it's free!" We know that buried ship isn't carrying the head

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1160851451479273682006-10-14T09:33:00.000-07:002006-10-16T08:28:20.310-07:00

Science Wants To Give You Better OrgasmsThere was a time when the vagina was not in vogue. It was all 'clitoris' this and 'clitoris' that for female orgasms. Scientists have a healthy distrust of politicians and activists so we were afraid to stand up against the clitoral orthodoxy but in a secret enclave ( known as "New Jersey" ) a group of neuroscientists have been reverse engineering the

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1160680611360221662006-10-12T12:06:00.000-07:002006-10-13T09:21:00.653-07:00

Science Shows You How To Determine If Your Girlfriend Is A TrampTrust is an important element in any relationship. How do you establish trust? Naturally, you have her followed and break into her email.But what if the paranoid wench drives like Steve McQueen and doesn't use her cat's name as her password? What then? Science would rather light a candle than curse your darkness so I have devised

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1160147434594851222006-10-06T07:35:00.000-07:002006-10-19T13:30:49.786-07:00

Science Helps You Plan Your WeekendHere Are Your Options:1. Die In A Cocaine-Fueled Orgy Of GaynessJust hang out with German nobility. A gay guy in Germany jumping from a balcony while hopped up on drugs during an orgy barely made the news in the U.S., because it is so unsurprising. Cocaine and gay orgies in a party thrown by a German Count? Next we'll hear they pissed on each other. Yeah.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1159995302566597732006-10-04T13:50:00.000-07:002006-10-09T19:14:44.243-07:00

Science Helps You Understand News Of The WorldHow To Understand Post-Feminist Sexual PoliticsMs. Magazine is publishing a "We Had Abortions" petition. I guess it's supposed to be some stand for female empowerment - you know, since after only 35 million abortions Ms. Magazine still thinks they're illegal. They should just save scientists some time and call it the "We Like To Screw And Won't Hold

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1159462070267378002006-09-29T07:12:00.000-07:002006-09-28T23:12:20.213-07:00

Scientists Bring Peace To The Mid-EastFADE IN: INT. A CORPORATE OFFICE, SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA. DAYTIME. Cash pops an "Our Blend" Keurig pod into his coffee maker and prepares for another day of making the world safe for technology, one supermodel at a time. His desk has a Curta mechanical calculator and a Bruce Wayne action figure. NOT Batman. Bruce Wayne. The Science Phone rings.CASH: Mushi

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1159286615644592822006-09-26T08:40:00.000-07:002006-09-27T10:23:50.723-07:00

Phi, The Ultimate Supermodel"What is a supermodel?" People sometimes ask me. It has a few definitions and sometimes people argue over them, much the way Heidi Klum and Elle MacPherson fight over who is called "The Body." *If you're reading this site, you know that a supermodel is an aspect of complexity science that incorporates multiple variables to try and spit out the best solution. Ha Ha

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1158615303155894662006-09-25T14:21:00.000-07:002006-09-25T13:05:18.486-07:00

Super Science Whiz Bang Contest(or skip below if you don't care)If you don't care about free stuff, skip to the next message to enjoy today's wholesome scientific and supermodel-ish goodness!...Okay, you are still reading. We only rank at about 200,000 on Alexa which means there just aren't enough people talking about us. So we're going to have a contest and basically bribe you into supporting

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154243290541957452006-09-25T07:07:00.000-07:002006-09-25T13:08:29.363-07:00

Need To Learn Fractals? Get Cornrows!There's some modern school of thought that says you have to be 'culturally relevant' to teach students, like students in New York City won't get it if you use a mathematical example that involves counting trees. So if you want your students to learn fractal geometry you have to use corn row hair braids to make your point. Take this, for example:"Each braid

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1158701891346900072006-09-21T06:34:00.000-07:002007-01-31T09:22:31.596-08:00

Science Shows You How To Predict Celebrity MarriagesJohn Tierney of the Times writes:I went to Garth Sundem, the wickedly ingenious author of Geek Logik, a new book of mathematical formulas for deciding questions like whether you should sleep with a co-worker, whether you should join a gym or see a therapist, and whether you can wear a Speedo without frightening small children. I asked Sundem to

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1158734113913659992006-09-19T23:27:00.000-07:002006-09-19T23:35:13.913-07:00

The Other SupermodelsSexy? Ummm, yeah, a little. But only to scientists. Nah, not sexy at all. This article is by UK writer Henry Nicholls on mathematical modelling of infectious diseases. This technique allows 'virtual epidemics' to be run, testing the effects of different assumptions or possible interventions.Obviously this is important to the British, since their farmers have made careers

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154199223014825322006-09-18T07:53:00.000-07:002006-09-18T10:26:46.223-07:00

Everything I Need To Know About Business I Learned From Watching Weird ScienceSometimes it's believed that business, or science ( or the business of science), takes a lot of education. I am here to tell you, my friends, the only education you need can be found in one easy location, it only takes 94 minutes of your time, and I am giving this secret to you for free: it's the Weird Science DVD.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154199140883348682006-09-16T07:51:00.000-07:002006-09-16T12:46:15.496-07:00

Some Scientific Equations Can't Be Solved, Like This One: W*0^M = NAnd Π (Pi) or Maxwell's Equations. Everyone knows Π already, it's the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle (22/7) and goes on forever. Then there's Maxwell's Equations; Maxwell grasped the connection between magnetism and electricity and how they create each other. But, like Π, they can never be solved. If

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1158300332945999482006-09-15T07:04:00.000-07:002006-09-15T00:02:57.866-07:00

Science Proves Women Are In League With LuciferScience can't prove everything. We can't prove Evolution, for example, and we can't prove that light is a wave and not a particle or that light is a particle and not a wave or ... well, we can't prove most anything about light.But science can prove some things.We have proven that all women are hotter as blondes.And while we can't prove that

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1158276151141349402006-09-14T16:18:00.000-07:002006-09-14T22:55:09.510-07:00

To everyone who's lurked, subscribed, newsfed or passed us on to someone else, many thanks. It's terrific to know that people are interested in science and ... well ... supermodels. And humor.Okay, this little site isn't beating boingboing just yet but it's nice to be appreciated. Please spread the word and encourage people to stop in. If I break 100,000 on Alexa I will have a contest for a

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1158163234018008142006-09-13T08:57:00.000-07:002006-09-14T16:42:44.640-07:00

Your Jedi Mind-Trick Moment For SeptemberMichael Witig and his wife were out barbecuing when they saw something streaking through the sky. They turned on their camera and filmed it as fire and smoke billowed behind the mystery object.Not to worry, said the FAA. It was a just a jet that was leaving a contrail behind it and the sun was at just the right angle to reflect off the jet and create the

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1157819298024805422006-09-12T07:53:00.000-07:002006-09-14T16:44:10.503-07:00

The Top 10 Mysteries Of Science10. Benjamin Underwood can't see for squat but he gets around by making clicking noises and using echolocation to visualize the obstacles his radar sends back. Unless he was hit by a truck full of radioactive material and now wears red tights and carries a billy club, science has no explanation for this:Want to impress me, Ben? Read this blog.9. Telephone

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1157819601971665642006-09-11T07:33:00.000-07:002006-09-14T16:45:20.756-07:00

The Top 10 Mysteries of Science Part II6. Some people can't accept that humans are smarter than animals. This panda accidentally crushed one of the twins she birthed. Which isn't all that smart, since she didn't even implicate the butler.Want to impress me, zookeepers? Teach pandas to imprison siblings they don't like behind an iron mask, like humans do.5. There's some confusion about

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1157996811740824192006-09-10T06:45:00.000-07:002006-09-14T16:47:58.760-07:00

The Top 10 Mysteries Of Science Part III3. This study says men are smarter than women. This study says tall people are smarter than short people. This article says a woman is mentally playing tennis, even in a coma. So I should be able to build a space shuttle in an hour if you give me the schematic because I am tall, male and not in a coma. Here's how you can impress me, sociologists. Given

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154241697963275392006-09-08T07:41:00.000-07:002006-09-14T16:41:59.390-07:00

Science Makes An Argument For ConcubinesOkay, before all you crazy feminists get upset and menstruate all over your computer screens because of that headline, hear me out.Well, get in the kitchen and bake me a pie. Then hear me out.Mistresses are getting popular in China. Some Commie bigwigs spend their days bilking the proletariat and then their nights canoodling with as many as seven

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1157642736520176982006-09-07T07:53:00.000-07:002006-09-08T09:52:59.500-07:00

Remastered "Star Trek" - Set Phasers For FunI know The Next Generation had its day in the sun but anyone - and I will brook no argument on this matter - who contends that the original is not the greatest sci-fi series of all time instantly loses their nerd cred around here.So if you are a TNG nerd - no, wait, if you can name more than three characters on any one of the later spin-offs - here is

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154243495936104252006-09-06T07:11:00.000-07:002006-09-14T16:51:00.790-07:00

Why Scientists Get Twice As Much Sex As YouThis study says that TV in the bedroom cuts the sex life in half. Now, this is an Italian study so maybe that skews the results. Italian men only want to have sex with someone else's wife. And Italian women? Don't get me started. If I had to have sex with Italian women, my sex life would be cut in half too. Unless it is Monica Bellucci. And then it

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1157044196017360382006-08-31T09:27:00.000-07:002006-09-14T16:56:15.003-07:00

End Global Warming By Stopping The Burning Man FestivalSacred flaming temples, gas-guzzling RVs that converge for a week on the dry Black Rock Desert lakebed - The Exxon-Mobil National Convention, you are thinking?Not at all. It's the Burning Man Art Festival in Nevada and it causes global warming. For 21 years this ecological disaster has been using gas-powered generators, up to 37,000 of them,

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155434944927302812006-08-30T07:01:00.000-07:002006-08-30T17:37:59.326-07:00

Evil Veterinarians Retaliate Against Snitch CatFred, the Undercover Kitten who gained fame by posing as a would-be patient to help police nab a phony veterinarian in New York, has died, authorities said recently.Fred had been a stray before he rocketed to fame by helping to implicate some immigrant doing unlicensed veterinary work. An undercover investigator posing as Fred's owner summoned Steven

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1156775684928889942006-08-28T07:33:00.000-07:002006-09-07T10:37:41.890-07:00

Science Detemines The Discovery Channel Is Bad For Your RelationshipsNothing brings a couple together like science programming ... you'd think. Not necessarily, my friends. Sure, it sounds like gold. What healthy, educated man and woman wouldn't want to enjoy scientific programming together, right?The scientific programming I am talking about is the 100 Greatest Discoveries that originally

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1156557350391547302006-08-25T18:47:00.000-07:002006-09-07T10:38:13.760-07:00

Science Students, Oprah Viewers Still Patiently Waiting GuidanceIf I hear one more thing about Pluto ... well, never mind that. "Astro"-physicists have officially replaced mathematicians as the favorite toilet monkeys of real scientists everywhere. Why? Because when something is proven in math, it stays proven. Same way with physics. It doesn't matter how many weeks the International

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1156441264744345782006-08-24T07:10:00.000-07:002006-09-07T10:38:39.013-07:00

Science Gets You More Sex - AgainIt looked like a close one for the credibility of science today. First, we had the International Astronomical Union acting like a bunch of retarded cats and adding 3 new planets but then demoting poor Pluto. This made scientists sad but we continued on with our day by heading to the local pharmacy, because Cheez-Doodles are on sale there. While there, a group

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1156261992281400342006-08-22T07:49:00.000-07:002006-09-07T10:39:06.196-07:00

Can't Get A Date? Science Has The AnswerWant to know the best result of a vigorous debate about evolution? It's now okay to talk about how people are different without getting into all of that touchy-feely "you're special too" hoopie. Let's take mathematicians, for example. They have always been toilet monkeys for scientists but in public we had to be nice to them and nod our heads at what

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155970911411735922006-08-21T07:22:00.000-07:002006-09-20T08:53:43.916-07:00

USA Scientists Extend Universal Dominance, Make Black Holes Their B*tchA team of scientists led by Rudy Schild at the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics have kicked other countries in the crotch by wrecking the notion of black holes everywhere. Dr. Schild's team suggest in The Astronomical Journal that a quasar they observed is powered by a dense ball of plasma called a MECO (

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1156016269596441502006-08-19T07:37:00.000-07:002006-08-21T21:54:10.506-07:00

Attention SupermodelsA bunch of us scientists will be attending Snakes On A Plane this weekend so if you'll dress up as snakes we will dress up as planes and give you rides.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155938181657211342006-08-18T14:18:00.000-07:002006-09-08T18:16:20.513-07:00

Quick Scientific Hits For The WeekendEnjoying your Ipod? Why not just chain an Asian kid to your radiator and make them work for you?Scientists will find it a lot tougher to get laid because of this website. Hate the game, not the scientist.Your kid will never need to watch Thomas The Tank Engine again. Why? Because I am making a kids' series called "The Little Spaceship That Could" and it

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155351627016763772006-08-18T07:20:00.000-07:002006-08-17T19:03:59.580-07:00

Teenage Scientists Have Redefined Sex In Order To Have Less Of ItWe've talked about this before. Not only do I think kids today are smarter than we ever were, I pretty much can't wait for them to run the world. Nothing ... and I mean nothing ... in the corporate world compares to trying to get laid as a teenager. And not only are kids today having sex like cocaine-fueled bunnies, they are

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155762211553674792006-08-16T13:31:00.000-07:002006-09-07T10:40:15.886-07:00

When Bad Science Hurts Good WomenNothing drives me crazier than bad science which gets published in big forums as reliable. No, I don't mean the silliness they publish as science on ScienceBlogs.com. I mean actual science, only badly done, and this one published in a news service. This German study says redheads get the most sex, not blondes. Now, common sense tells you this isn't true because

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155620302129615122006-08-16T07:47:00.000-07:002006-09-07T10:43:05.036-07:00

Moon Landing Footage "Missing", Replaced With Episode Of Futurama*Almost any kid today can spot bad CGI a mile away. Have a kid watch Raiders Of The Lost Ark, for example and, when that fighter plane crashes into the tunnel, kids will start giggling because it looks so fake to them.How is this possible? Eyes are trained by experience like anything else and special effects are a lot better today

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155438464814372142006-08-14T06:27:00.000-07:002006-11-03T09:48:34.596-08:00

Zany Scientists Make World's Most Expensive Pair Of X-Ray GlassesNothing says funny like X-Ray glasses. And scientists are nothing if not funny. Take those fun-loving guys at Stanford University's Linear Accelerator Center (SLAC) in Menlo Park, California. They know that Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory in Illinois will be shut down by 2010 and that scientists are determined to have the

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155352029501265642006-08-12T08:00:00.000-07:002006-08-12T20:17:33.150-07:00

Scientists Reverse Evolution, Reconstruct Ancient GeneOh, they didn't mean Gene Simmons. Instead they mean they have reconstructed a 530-million-year-old DNA strand by piecing together key portions of two modern genes descended from it.Well, maybe reconstructing Gene Simmons is next. I have been hoping to return to those days when Kabuki masks, shaved legs, and platform heels were COOL on men.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155420889403333072006-08-12T07:13:00.000-07:002006-08-12T23:19:58.403-07:00

From Wondermark

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155334795880263992006-08-11T15:16:00.000-07:002006-08-11T19:16:35.523-07:00

Golden Fiddle Makes The Honorary Scientists ListBecause sometimes scientists concede that civilians are really funny too, and this from Golden Fiddle is a classic:FADE IN: INT. A BEACH HOUSE BATHROOM, MALIBU, CALIFORNIA. NIGHT Matthew Mcconaughey and Lance Armstrong shower, shave, wax, pluck, gel, and dress together before for a big night at Sky Bar in Los Angeles. LANCE: Hey, Matt. MATT: What

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155161565654033562006-08-11T07:10:00.000-07:002006-08-12T20:23:12.973-07:00

Important Dating News For Our Young Male ScientistsWorldNetDaily is outraged at the modern culture of promiscuity that is exemplified by the number of female teachers seducing their young male science students.Yes, the cockblockers in some newspaper are trying to make it harder for you to get laid. As if getting laid in high school isn't already difficult enough they want to take teachers out of

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155192616466970842006-08-10T06:44:00.000-07:002006-10-22T08:18:28.903-07:00

Parting The Red Sea - Science Explains That ( And The Rest Of The Bible Too )James Cameron, who wanted us to suspend disbelief long enough to buy into robots from the future and aliens in our oceans, is worried people might actually have belief in something he didn't create through the magic of film; specifically that the Old Testament God ( not the 'be nice to each other' New Testament one ) was

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155061300081253492006-08-09T12:21:00.000-07:002006-08-13T21:25:13.903-07:00

Women Cheat Us Again - This Time By Using EvolutionIt's no secret what makes the world go round; it's not money or politics or governments. It's vaginas. Sure, we can pretend that men run things and women can pretend that men run things by griping about a glass ceiling or whatever, but scientists know the truth.And it's not enough that women have all the advantages in life - never having to hit

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155165180457433422006-08-09T09:10:00.000-07:002006-08-10T23:02:24.136-07:00

James Van AllenR.I.P.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155105172914331412006-08-09T08:32:00.000-07:002006-08-08T23:32:52.923-07:00

Making Scientific Sense Of The NewsThis study says obesity harms more women than men while this study says hungry men like fat women.Do I need to spell that out for you? No, it isn't that hungry men like to eat fat women, it's that hungry men know fat women have food in the house. Claire Forlani, on the other hand, isn't worried about being too thin or not having a man, she lays awake at night

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154729080636395072006-08-08T06:00:00.000-07:002006-08-07T21:57:02.063-07:00

What Is The Anagram of ... Solomon Hercules Atlas Zeus Achilles Mercury?That's right.  It spells S-C-I-E-N-T-I-S-T, baby.  Sure, you are used to me being a science guru and, on occasion, a Formula One race car driver who solves mysteries on TV, but unless you are a long-time reader you are probably not aware I am also a superhero. I discovered I was a superhero this one time when a guy cut me

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154749934360217402006-08-07T07:51:00.000-07:002006-10-22T08:17:24.943-07:00

The Science Of Freak MagnetsKnow what I love most about science? We have been using magnets for years in all kinds of applications, even multi-billion dollar industries like semiconductor and microprocessing, but no one knows what a magnetic field is.If you ask a physicist (ahem - a different physicist ) you'll get answers like "a magnetic field is a region in space where a magnetic force can be

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154831541429079562006-08-05T19:24:00.000-07:002006-08-07T12:08:40.140-07:00

Science Offers To Explain To Paris Hilton What Celibate MeansI am not just being flippant - either she truly doesn't know what it means or she found a journalist as dumb as she is. I guess there's even money on that one."I'm not having sex for a year. ... I'll kiss, but nothing else," says Hilton who, when not being confused about the difference between celibate and chaste also stated to the

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154627224173689712006-08-04T07:45:00.000-07:002006-08-04T19:06:37.226-07:00

Science Determines Scientists Are Smarter Than YouThe August issue of Scientific American tries to figure out why some people are better at things than other people. This, they contend, will help us teach better. I don't know why they bothered. I can answer that question in four words: I am smarter than you.* Now, that isn't a value judgment, it's just the way it is. We all went to school (

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154637411952003252006-08-03T13:36:00.000-07:002006-08-18T02:31:05.313-07:00

People Still Watch Star WarsOkay, I will totally invalidate my geek street cred by saying I never got the whole Star Wars thing. I liked Star Wars okay and I thought the first half of Empire was good. I can't have been the only guy in the country who thought that Lucas was goofing on us with the "Luke, I am your father" silliness because no one could be that lame. I was in high school in a

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154532741234451852006-08-02T08:30:00.000-07:002006-08-02T15:56:07.836-07:00

Turns Out The Aryan Brotherhood Are Scientists TooWhen people think of scientists, they don't often picture neo-Nazis or whatever exactly the Aryan brotherhood is today. Because neo-Nazis are often bald and moody and disdainful of people they feel are inferior ... Uh oh.  Well, not all scientists are bald. Never mind that for now. We're usually not inclined to make the Aryan brotherhood

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154495436815732902006-08-01T22:10:00.000-07:002006-08-03T14:45:59.430-07:00

The Science Endorsement: Final FuDon't get me wrong, the show is complete crap, even if it does have young Ernie Reyes. They don't even use AAU rules, which would be bad enough ... they have more like pussified AAU rules, which is like being the shortest guy in a family of midgets. I never liked AAU tournaments because you couldn't punch to the face. They were okay with you doing a hook kick

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154453243492342212006-08-01T10:23:00.000-07:002006-08-01T12:25:58.050-07:00

The Science Of Miss ClairolPure, un-edited proof that all women look hotter as (a) blondes and (b) long-haired blondes. Let's talk Bryce Dallas Howard, chosen to play Gwen Stacy in Spider-Man 3. Now, I don't know about the rest of you but as a little Star Trek nerd, age 6, seeing Gwen Stacy as drawn by John Romita was a life-changing experience. I don't know how they are going to work her

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154364051210734642006-07-31T07:39:00.000-07:002006-08-04T19:41:48.140-07:00

Want To Have A Beautiful Daughter? Nail A ScientistEveryone wants a beautiful daughter. In fact, that topic came up last week. Someone asked me how things had changed since I hit the big 4-0 and I said, "I'm going to meet someone my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful - and I'm going to date her daughter."How do I meet Alessandra Ambrosio's mother anyway?It's important that I

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154199056801490412006-07-29T11:50:00.000-07:002006-07-30T23:05:32.326-07:00

Scientific Fun For The WeekendSaturday morning. Make an air gun that shoots tampons. Some PVC, a few tampon vending tubes and a whole mess of tampons. Conveniently, I keep all that around the house for emergencies.Later Saturday morning. Shoot brother with tampon gun. Let's face it, men don't even like going to the store to buy tampons. He's really going to hate being shot with them.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154452891459206892006-07-29T07:21:00.000-07:002006-09-20T08:54:27.093-07:00

Science Is Not A Business For The SqueamishOr for the sensitive. To wit, I still haven't cracked the top 50 science blogs but I think it's mostly because I don't shriek about evolution or global warming. There are blogs on that list that haven't been updated since April so how many people link to you can be misleading. Science ... real science,not academia, where people have lots of time to

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154207264322928142006-07-23T14:07:00.000-07:002006-07-29T14:07:44.323-07:00

Know What What Makes Scientists Happy?I mean really, really happy. This kind of happy:Well, I'll tell you. Nothing makes scientists happier than when celebrity marriages go kerplooey, accusations start flying, and families - being familial - say a bunch of things they would never, ever, ever believe if they read them on my blog. Let's take this whole Christie Brinkley thing that happened

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242258992050642006-07-19T07:50:00.000-07:002006-07-29T23:50:58.993-07:00

Colorado Woman Mixes Science, MetaphorsNothing says relaxation and down-home cooking like the smell of crackling electricity through chicken corpses and Liborio Markets, a Latino-based grocery store moving into the region, aims to please. To make sure you get the freshest chicken nuggets possible, they intend to kill about 150 chickens a day by coursing wholesome electrical currents through the

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242325925352072006-07-18T07:51:00.000-07:002006-07-29T23:52:05.926-07:00

Science Saves Lives - And That's Always FunnySo science isn't all bad. Sure, we invented guns, which accidentally kill 1,500 Americans a year, but we also invented cars, which accidentally kill 43,000 Americans per ... oh, wait, maybe that isn't a good example. Here's a better one. We found a CURE FOR CANCER! Well, we didn't, but Dr. Miracles did. Like most good men of science he has a

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154241434883600242006-07-14T07:35:00.000-07:002006-10-22T08:19:45.180-07:00

Science Shows You How To Get Twice As Much PussyHeisenberg ( get your sour grapes shirt here) once postulated that a cat could be alive and dead at the same time. What he didn't foresee was that one day a cat would be born that could be both normal and a mutated aberration at the same time:And yet there it is, another scientific miracle, normal except for the freakish two-headed aspect. Some of

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242443357051662006-07-13T07:53:00.000-07:002006-08-04T19:17:07.786-07:00

Science Determines Sony Hates Albinoes And Black PeopleSony is a Japanese company - and the Japanese hate everyone. I am always baffled when I am out in public in America and someone mentions how polite the Japanese are. Yes, they are outwardly polite; they just bottle up all that hatred. But every 60 years - BOOM - Pearl Harbor.*I give most any man travelling to Japan this advice: If you are

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242499680316892006-07-11T07:54:00.000-07:002006-07-29T23:54:59.683-07:00

Scientists Could Still Be Dating Supermodels in 3006That's right, this guy says he is making progress in cellular damage repair - what you call corn. No wait, that was a commercial for Maize. I meant, "what you call aging."*Yes, you really want to see what that guy looks like at age 1,000. Now, some people might think it's a bad idea to live to 1,000. Imagine another 990 years of Paris Hilton

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242578663744302006-07-07T07:55:00.000-07:002006-08-04T19:19:11.573-07:00

Your Science News For FridayOzzie Osbourne was not home when Satan came to collect - you didn't think his puzzling success for 3.5 decades had to do with musical ability, did you? Luckily, Ozzie's brain is so addled even he didn't know where he was so Satan missed him and burned down his mansion instead.Satan is scary. So scary, in fact, that some girls get their tops scared right off of them.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242624556449632006-07-06T07:56:00.000-07:002006-07-29T23:57:04.556-07:00

Science Hasn't Yet Invented A Way To Make The Right Women Get Naked - We'll Work On ThatAshlee Simpson won't get naked, even for $4 million - and, you have to admit, after her excellent new prosthetic face, she looks almost human, so she might be worth seeing naked:Meanwhile, Britney Spears won't put on clothes:How much do we have to pay for her to stop getting naked?Finally, after her new

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242680560151082006-07-03T07:57:00.000-07:002006-07-29T23:58:00.563-07:00

Even If You're Fat And Rich, You're Still ScrewedBecause we needed this study to tell us money can't buy happiness* and this one to tell us fat people actually are not more jolly than the rest of us.So the next time someone tries to set me up on a date by using the catch-phrase "she is sooooo jolly" I will see right through it. I'll know they mean she is really thin and hot.So, really, what is

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154241555612071262006-06-28T07:38:00.000-07:002006-07-29T23:39:15.616-07:00

Want To Cure Global Warming? Make Really Big SunglassesSometimes aging scientists get nostalgic for no good reason. Sometimes aging scientists get nostalgic for a very good reason. Environmentalism of the 1970s is a very good reason for scientists to get nostalgic.You see, when I was a young scientist the big fear was a new Ice Age. Yes, the trend had been that in the 20th century to-date,

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242748197692712006-06-27T06:58:00.000-07:002006-08-04T19:47:47.433-07:00

Have An Older Brother? You're Probably GayI am in the science business, people, and if there's one thing I know because of my extensive experience in science, it's voodoo. Statistics is voodoo, plain and simple. And it might be evil, but I am not going there just yet.This study says they have found a biological basis for homosexuality - it happens to men who have brothers.HUH? Yes, they use

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242796125830522006-06-25T05:59:00.000-07:002006-07-29T23:59:56.126-07:00

Everybody Hates YouThis study says Americans have fewer close friends than they did 20 years ago. Now, sure, you're thinking 'hey, people move around a lot more than they used to so it makes sense you wouldn't have as many close friends you see often' which is what the study measured, but I have a different theory:People just don't like you. Let's face it, if you're reading this blog you're

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242855644047722006-06-23T07:00:00.000-07:002006-08-04T19:48:52.266-07:00

Sometimes Science is Not The AnswerI know, I know, you're wondering if you're at the wrong website. No, this time I mean it. Take the Mona Lisa, for example. Why is the Mona Lisa popular hundreds of years after it was created? Because it harkens back to a simpler, easier time when women smiled a lot and kept their traps shut. But, no, you knew someone would screw that up and leave it to

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154242908130128332006-06-13T06:01:00.000-07:002006-07-30T00:01:48.133-07:00

Can I Be John Connor This Time?Robocup 2006 will take place later today in Bremen, bringing us one step closer to apocalyptic destruction at the hands of our robot overlords. Yes, it is robots playing soccer. Teaching robots to play soccer without any kind of central control is exactly what society needs. Next we can teach them to make factories that build more robots and dress up like Yul

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155500179931635442006-06-03T07:08:00.000-07:002006-08-13T13:16:19.933-07:00

DC Comics Thinks Only Lesbians Read BatmanBatwoman is back!! The hero you have missed since 1979 is finally returning to DC Comics. She's tall, dressed in black ... and she's a lesbian.Yes, a lesbian. Apparently there is some controversy in this but I can tell you aging scientists aren't exactly against the idea. A 5'10" girl wearing a skin-tight leather bat suit and confused about her

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154745512169116082006-05-29T07:38:00.000-07:002006-08-04T19:38:32.170-07:00

The Second Coming Is Here And no, I am not just some crazy guy standing on the street corner saying it. I know it must be true because Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had a baby and they have decided it must be so.This young girl ( a girl for a Messiah - how progressive ) is named Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Now, I have read the Old Testament. Still, I felt I needed to look it up just the same

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155499616818760292006-05-27T07:05:00.000-07:002006-08-13T13:06:56.820-07:00

Hasbro Takes A Stand For Female Empowerment, Screws Scientists Of The FutureIf by female empowerment you mean dressing like a tramp and doing what you can to be objectified by men, then the Pussycat Dolls are the perfect role model for your 6-year old. And Hasbro agreed and had those dolls ready to ship with a marketing blitz to youngsters on the way until a letter writing campaign by Brooklyn

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155499369682170262006-05-25T07:41:00.000-07:002006-08-13T13:02:49.853-07:00

Maybe I Was WrongJust because I have a Nobel Prize in Awesome doesn't mean I can't admit when I have made a mistake. What mistake could I possibly have made, you wonder?I will tell you; Nick Lachey. Now, people who have known me a long time know two things that I know I know; First, and foremost, is that you never cut a bi*ch too loose - but that is relationship advice for another day. Second,

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154243009369202902006-05-24T07:03:00.000-07:002006-08-11T11:56:34.790-07:00

Albinos Versus Sexy Skeleton ZombiesPart 1: The AlbinosAlbinos are pissed about being portrayed as creepy criminals ... again. This time in The Da Vinci Code.Why does this happen every time we get a new villain? Terrorists have to be creepy Europeans now because it's not Politcally Correct to use Muslims. Yeah, we all know there are lots of Prussian Christian Fundamentalists blowing up stuff.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155497998210506112006-05-15T06:38:00.000-07:002006-08-13T12:39:58.213-07:00

Teri Hatcher Outs Ryan SeacrestI am sure there are vast tracts of America where being gay is still controversial, but I live in California. Want to be controversial here? Be a Republican. So Teri Hatcher making an allusion to the notion that the host of American Idol is gay isn't a surprise to me, much less a big deal. Why not a surprise? Dude buys his shirts from Baby Gap, that's why:

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155289158195654602006-05-12T02:38:00.000-07:002006-08-11T02:39:18.196-07:00

Science Takes On Entertainment Weekly So I am looking at Sweety's copy of Entertainment Weekly. It has that Superman guy on the cover and he looks very pretty and airbrushed. I have been against this thing from day one because it isn't easy to find a good Superman and they picked this guy for the wrong reasons; namely, how his crotch looks. Most comic book fans are men ... and most men are

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155497742806162372006-05-05T07:35:00.000-07:002006-08-13T12:35:42.816-07:00

The Spanish Celebrate Cinco de Mayo By Annexing MexicoPresidente del Gobierno José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero of Spain said the Spanish Republic has decided to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by revoking Mexican independence:"It has always been a common misperception that the 5th of May is a celebration of Mexican independence from Spain. This is not correct, is is actually a celebration of victory over

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155289082288766692006-05-03T07:34:00.000-07:002006-09-20T08:58:23.406-07:00

Science Defends The Indefensible Position: Slappin' Your HoIt may be indefensible but it wouldn't be a fun day if I didn't try and defend it for that very reason. Why bother, you ask? Sure, you're thinking 'he's the cracker mack daddy of science' so I never need to smack my b*tch up to get her to act proper, but this doesn't mean arguing the merits of the occasional love tap can't be valid as

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155288806141536452006-05-02T07:32:00.000-07:002006-08-11T02:33:26.143-07:00

Wedding Notes From A ScientistWeddings are glorious things. There's never a greater sense of optimism than on a couple's first official day as man and wife. Optimism from everyone else, that is. The bride's nerves are usually frazzled and she's likely to be strung out like a Christmas tree from all of that preparation. So the tiniest things can send her into a tailspin. If one thing goes

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155494687514434992006-04-29T07:31:00.000-07:002006-08-13T11:44:47.640-07:00

Scientific Arguments - DiscussArgument 1: Ashlee Simpson is hotter than Jessica.Yes, you read those mind-altering words here. Want to know why? Because Ashlee says so:"I'm taller than she is and my legs are longer than hers … I got lucky because my chest size isn't completely massive."Yeah, that's right, she is hotter than her sister because she looks like a chicken and has small tits. They're

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155288626546315332006-04-20T06:29:00.000-07:002006-08-11T02:30:26.546-07:00

Austrians Get Laid More Than You DoThat's right, I said Austrians. I also said more than you, not me. Anyone who reads my blog knows that the line of women waiting to offer me their vaginas is so long it can be seen from the moon.*This study says it's because men care about women there, blah, blah, blah. I think it's because the cities are named things like F**KING. Look for yourself.Country

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155493804813408442006-04-18T07:28:00.000-07:002006-08-13T11:30:04.816-07:00

Scientists Discover Tom Cruise Has A Better Life Than UsTom Cruise is proud to tell you he has a spectacular sex life - don't get me wrong, my sex life is spectacular too, because Lady Scientist has that whole madonna-whore dichotomy down to an art form - but he has my spectacular sex life, is adored by millions and has enough money to buy Lenin's brain.So what could make him happier than that?

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155493659180678272006-04-15T07:27:00.000-07:002006-08-13T11:27:39.183-07:00

A Pacifier For KatieTom Cruise apparently had one made for the mother of his child to help her keep quiet during her Scientology-induced labor. Because making her chew on her dignity was apparently not going to be enough.And does anyone else wish they had thought of this t-shirt first?

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155493601211390082006-04-14T07:25:00.000-07:002006-08-13T11:26:41.213-07:00

Girl With Mannish Shoulders Pretends She Hates AttentionIn fact, supposedly Evangeline Lilly wished she was ugly. She says, "I spent many nights crying myself to sleep wishing I was ugly because of the way men leered and disrespected me..." and then, "You feel like they're paying to stare at your ass when you're walking away from the table." Then she had this picture taken by a professional

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155493511816730482006-04-13T07:25:00.000-07:002006-08-13T11:25:11.816-07:00

Britney Spears' Baby Tries To Throw Himself To Doom After Discovering Kevin Federline Is His FatherYou would too. Turns out the little tyke was watching "EXTRA" on TV and making fun of Federline when he noticed something odd - the clown kept showing up on TV following his mother everywhere. Then he looked around the kitchen and noticed the same guy was always there, smelling of marijuana and

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155493465067760352006-04-11T07:24:00.000-07:002006-08-13T11:24:25.070-07:00

Gwyneth Paltrow Insures Her Kid Will Get Beat UpAs if she needed any more assurance after making Chris Martin the boy's father. Obviously as soon as it's discovered that the dad in that family is the guy from Coldplay you can bet helpful bigger kids will rob the young lad of his dignity and his pants.But that's the future. How did she insure he will get beat up right now? She named him Moses!

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155493424490487082006-04-07T07:16:00.000-07:002006-10-22T08:20:17.660-07:00

Relatonship AdviceIt may surprise you to learn this, because you are used to me being a science guru and, on occasion, a Formula One race car driver who solves mysteries on TV, but I am also an expert on relationships.Not my own, of course. My past relationships have gone somewhere between train wreck and horror movie - without the actual sweet release of death. No, I mean I am an expert on

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1154243131055059832006-03-28T07:05:00.000-08:002006-08-04T21:28:15.233-07:00

Prosthetic Parts IIIWhat's up with chicks and their need to wear fake parts? I made the call on Jessica Simpson's fake can when I saw Dukes of Hazzard. I didn't make the call on Felicity Huffman's fake penis while filming TransAmerica, mostly because I thought she already had a real one.Now it turns out Penelope Cruz ( who? ) needed curvature help also. And she liked having a real woman's

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31856930.post-1155288436401845762006-03-23T06:26:00.000-08:002006-08-11T02:27:16.406-07:00

Science Decides Day Spas Are For Men TooWhere did this notion come from that men can't go to a day spa? I am not talking about some weird metrosexual craziness, I am talking about ordinary men. Rugged men. Scientific men. Like me. I went and, I have to tell you, I am darn proud of it. The reason I went is because on my last trip to Japan I got three of these tiny white corpuscle looking

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com0