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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:
10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.
9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.
8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.
7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.
6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"
4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!
3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.
2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!
... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...
1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
What Cool Scientists Are Listening To - Click Links Below
:: Cash - Being Simple
:: Viva K - Does It Matter?
:: The Ark - One Of Us Is Gonna Die Young
:: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway
:: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train
:: Phish - Gin And Juice
:: The Whigs - Technology
:: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool
:: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall
:: Richard Swift - As I Go
:: Snowglobe - Rainbow
Get all the Cash you can stand.
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Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time




Scientists Are Hotter Than Brad Pitt



A week or so ago Sweety is sitting around reading People ( which I don't think anyone over the age of 30 should do, but if that's her only vice, whatever ) and Jennifer Aniston is on the cover. So I say, "Nice of her and Vince Vaughn to be so discreet. And Brad Pitt is definitely winning that battle."

She doesn't look up. She has been through this kind of thing about 8 bazillion times - because I keep count. "What do you mean?" she asks. Because she is inherently polite.

I say, "Well, Brad Pitt went from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie. About the same in looks but way over the top on the deviant sex scale. Aniston went from Brad Pitt to ... Vince Vaughn. Not really a step up."

"But how do you go up from Brad Pitt?" she asks.

I stew on that for a minute. Then I say, "What the hell does that mean, how do you go up from Brad Pitt? I am better than Brad Pitt."

She doesn't miss a beat. "Yeah, but Jennifer can't have you. You're taken."

posted by Buckaroo at 7:41 AM |

0 attempts to be as funny as a scientist

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