Top 10 Reasons My
Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:
10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.
9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most
8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with
Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.
7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.
6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there
before you order or it's free!"
4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!
3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna
2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in
... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light
car is ...
1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
What Cool Scientists Are
Listening To - Click Links Below
- Being Simple
:: Viva K - Does It Matter?
:: The Ark - One
Of Us Is Gonna Die Young
:: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway
:: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train
:: Phish - Gin And Juice
:: The Whigs -
:: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool
:: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall
:: Richard Swift - As I Go
:: Snowglobe - Rainbow
Unique IPs the past month: 8755
Number of countries that read this blog: 54
Percentage of visitors who stay more than 20 minutes: 16%
Most hits by Country - USA, England, Japan
Queso Fresco Cheese References: 3
Cocaine references: 7
Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2
Jaime Pressly references: 5
Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time
The Top 10 Mysteries Of Science 10. Benjamin Underwood can't see for squat but he gets around by making clicking noises and using echolocation to visualize the obstacles his radar sends back. Unless he was hit by a truck full of radioactive material and now wears red tights and carries a billy club, science has no explanation for this: Want to impress me, Ben? Read this blog. 9. Telephone telepathy. How is it that sometimes you are thinking about someone and they call? Egads, can that be possible? Of course it can ... it's like wondering how it is possible that men think about sex and sometimes they get sex. If you are thinking about people all of the time but only know 50, chances are one of them will call when you happen to be thinking about them. Want to impress me, audio guys? Explain how Lady Scientist magically knows an ex-girlfriend called "just to say hello." 8. Reading makes Justin Timberlake dizzy. Clearly he has a vision problem and is an illiterate sock monkey. He is surrounded by handlers who couldn't diagnose that for him? Want to impress me, music industry? Explain how women who see Justin Timberlake get so dizzy their underwear falls off. 7. TV critics are dumb. Here are some quotes from critics when Star Trek debuted in 1966. "[T]oo clumsily conceived and poorly developed to rate as an A-1 effort."--Boston Globe "One may need something of a pointed head to get involved."--New York Post. "Disappointingly bizarre hour...things better improve or this won't be a lengthy mission."--Houston Chronicle. Want to impress me, TV critics? Explain how anyone ever thought this chick was hot: Continued Here ...
posted by Buckaroo at 7:53 AM
0 attempts to be as funny as a scientist
Email The Lab
Direct Link This Post or Add to del.icio.us or
reddit or Spurl
or ma.gnolia or
even Digg us.