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| Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules: |
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| 10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool. |
| 9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states. |
| 8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics. |
| 7) Bugs - they never see you comin'. |
| 6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen. |
| 5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!" |
| 4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am! |
| 3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song. |
| 2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week! |
| ... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ... |
| 1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2" |
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| What Cool Scientists Are Listening To - Click Links Below |
| :: Cash - Being Simple |
| :: Viva K - Does It Matter? |
| :: The Ark - One Of Us Is Gonna Die Young |
| :: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway |
| :: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train |
| :: Phish - Gin And Juice |
| :: The Whigs - Technology |
| :: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool |
| :: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall |
| :: Richard Swift - As I Go |
| :: Snowglobe - Rainbow |
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| Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2 |
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Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time
What To Do If You Are In The Tallest Building In Japan During An Earthquake
If you're like me, the first thing you might do is wake up the Asian girl whose name you can't remember because you picked her up in a bar and you drank until she was cute and say, 'Shisurei shimasu, doiuimi desu ka WHEN THE WHOLE FRIGGIN' BUILDING IS SHAKING?'
She might reply that my Japanese sucks worse than my lovemaking but she would like me anyway if I would simply lose some muscle mass, shrink my enormous penis and never speak again. And then call me a fag for waking her up. Not that that happened.
But if it did happen, you might think it was just the wind until 20 minutes later when you pull up the trusty news service and see there was an actual earthquake. And there might be a really cool tsunami off the coast somewhere, and maybe it will take some of those cutesy alien-looking creatures that are trying to compete with that duck in the AFLAC commercials out to sea where they can be buried for eternity.
'Cause I love that duck.
Article Here
posted by Buckaroo at 9:23 PM |
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