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| Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules: |
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| 10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool. |
| 9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states. |
| 8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics. |
| 7) Bugs - they never see you comin'. |
| 6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen. |
| 5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!" |
| 4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am! |
| 3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song. |
| 2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week! |
| ... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ... |
| 1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2" |
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| What Cool Scientists Are Listening To - Click Links Below |
| :: Cash - Being Simple |
| :: Viva K - Does It Matter? |
| :: The Ark - One Of Us Is Gonna Die Young |
| :: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway |
| :: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train |
| :: Phish - Gin And Juice |
| :: The Whigs - Technology |
| :: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool |
| :: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall |
| :: Richard Swift - As I Go |
| :: Snowglobe - Rainbow |
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| Unique IPs the past month: 8755 |
| Number of countries that read this blog: 54 |
| Percentage of visitors who stay more than 20 minutes: 16% |
| Most hits by Country - USA, England, Japan |
| Queso Fresco Cheese References: 3 |
| Cocaine references: 7 |
| Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2 |
| Jaime Pressly references: 5 |
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| [::..Archive..::] |
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Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time
Man Seduces Internet Hottie - And She Turns Out To Be His Mother
Naturally when I saw this story about some poor schlub seducing his mother on the internet I had to seek out the Sage of All Important Wisdom when it comes to dating - my brother.
He referred me to Chapter 6 of his best-selling book, "Internet Seductions For Dummies" - 'Why webcams matter'.
"This idiot in France is the perfect example for why webcams matter," Bro said. "How much embarrassment could have been avoided if she had just fired up the webcam. Now he is stuck rationalizing six months of cybersex with his mother by saying things like, 'The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that.' No, he isn't. He's mortified and will likely never get a date in Marseilles again. And his dad is pissed.
"So webcams matter for two reasons. One, as sure as I am sitting here, 8 times out of 10 if a girl writes you out of the blue, she is either as big as a Sumo or she is a man. Webcams prevent that problem. Two, looks are clearly the most important thing in any relationship, so if she is ugly you won't have to bother liking her.
"If it turns out to be a man, and he pulls the 'we can just be friends' line, don't be fooled. The last thing you need is more friends. They take pictures like this as jokes and put them on the internet. Did that poor guy even know they had doggie chew toys in the house?"
posted by Buckaroo at 12:51 PM |
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