Top 10 Reasons My
Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:
10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.
9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most
8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with
Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.
7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.
6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there
before you order or it's free!"
4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!
3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna
2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in
... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light
car is ...
1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
What Cool Scientists Are
Listening To - Click Links Below
- Being Simple
:: Viva K - Does It Matter?
:: The Ark - One
Of Us Is Gonna Die Young
:: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway
:: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train
:: Phish - Gin And Juice
:: The Whigs -
:: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool
:: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall
:: Richard Swift - As I Go
:: Snowglobe - Rainbow
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Queso Fresco Cheese References: 3
Cocaine references: 7
Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2
Jaime Pressly references: 5
Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time
Science Thoughts Over Coffee If you like MTV Cribs, you are an idiot. Without it, though, we wouldn't get this Santa version. Weezer guy makes news for staying unmarried for two years. Okay, maybe I will give him a break because he never actually uses the word 'celibate' ... it's a journalist who wrote that headline and we know how stupid they can be. Weezer guy has abstained from sex for 2.5 years now, as if that is some sort of achievement. Heck, I went for 15 years once and I was really, really not trying. It ain't like he abstained from orgasms. That would be a miracle. I haven't had one since 2AM and I am already a little testy. Kate Moss may have given me AIDS. That'll get me in hot water with the little woman. Want a $950 cocktail? Yeah, I kinda do too. It's such a ridiculously over-the-top bit of frivolity I am willing to fly to Chicago to do it. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics. Told ya. One gene made white skin. And you thought a Sneetch with a star was controversial. Wait until people get ahold of this concept. U.S. submarine may have toured the Canadian Arctic. Further demonstrating that Canadians are pussies.
posted by Buckaroo at 12:57 PM
0 attempts to be as funny as a scientist
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