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| Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules: |
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| 10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool. |
| 9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states. |
| 8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics. |
| 7) Bugs - they never see you comin'. |
| 6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen. |
| 5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!" |
| 4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am! |
| 3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song. |
| 2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week! |
| ... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ... |
| 1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2" |
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| What Cool Scientists Are Listening To - Click Links Below |
| :: Cash - Being Simple |
| :: Viva K - Does It Matter? |
| :: The Ark - One Of Us Is Gonna Die Young |
| :: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway |
| :: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train |
| :: Phish - Gin And Juice |
| :: The Whigs - Technology |
| :: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool |
| :: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall |
| :: Richard Swift - As I Go |
| :: Snowglobe - Rainbow |
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| Most hits by Country - USA, England, Japan |
| Queso Fresco Cheese References: 3 |
| Cocaine references: 7 |
| Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2 |
| Jaime Pressly references: 5 |
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| [::..Archive..::] |
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Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time
Woman Hires Hit Man To Steal Cheese
If there's one thing my career dating supermodels has taught me, it's that nothing gives a woman the strength and courage of a deranged lion like a big chunk of cocaine. You wouldn't think an 85 lb. elf like Kate Moss could do much damage to a guy my size, but when she head-butts you because you are both between her and her cocaine and you didn't tell her how beautiful she was the requisite 100th time that day things can go to a bad place really fast.
But chalk one up for a woman even dumber than Kate Moss. Jessica Sandy Booth has been arrested for hiring a hit man to steal cheese. The cheese was owned by Mexicans so maybe that's why she assumed it was cocaine. Apparently she thinks Mexican men don't eat queso fresco cheese but they sprinkle cocaine liberally in their cuisine.
She then compounds her stupidity by hiring an undercover cop to kill the men and steal the cheese/cocaine. Hiring a fake hit man to kill guys who aren't drug dealers in possession of cheese she thinks is cocaine. Ain't that poetry?
posted by Buckaroo at 12:35 PM |
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