Claudia Barnes, a local busybody who learned just today that chickens have to die before she can eat them, doesn't like the idea at all.
"We're just appalled," she said. "If they want to do this in the privacy of their home, I don't care. But we're just opening up a keg of worms if this happens."
Keg of worms? What happened to cliches everyone knew and that made sense? She is worried about some kind of slippery slope here, like if chickens are killed humanely we'll suddenly have dogs hanging in the streets, like in Spain? And they should kill chickens in their homes? Is that some kind of racist thing against Mexicans? Listen up, Claudia, Mexicans may have chickens fight each other in their basements but they don't kill them. Not on purpose anyway. I am with the Mexicans here. I am okay with dead chickens because they can't bring me my slippers but I draw the line at hanging dogs.
I'm not sure how it could be spontaneous and well-thought out at the same time but even at 65, or whatever age she is, Pamela Anderson* still looks like this;
So we're willing to give her some slack because of that.** And what do you think Claudia Barnes looks like? I don't know either but if you guessed she's similar to the homeless woman down the street from me who smells like urine and has a ping-pong ball for a left eye, you probably wouldn't be far off.