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| Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules: |
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| 10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool. |
| 9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states. |
| 8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics. |
| 7) Bugs - they never see you comin'. |
| 6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen. |
| 5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!" |
| 4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am! |
| 3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song. |
| 2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week! |
| ... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ... |
| 1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2" |
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| What Cool Scientists Are Listening To - Click Links Below |
| :: Cash - Being Simple |
| :: Viva K - Does It Matter? |
| :: The Ark - One Of Us Is Gonna Die Young |
| :: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway |
| :: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train |
| :: Phish - Gin And Juice |
| :: The Whigs - Technology |
| :: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool |
| :: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall |
| :: Richard Swift - As I Go |
| :: Snowglobe - Rainbow |
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| Most hits by Country - USA, England, Japan |
| Queso Fresco Cheese References: 3 |
| Cocaine references: 7 |
| Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2 |
| Jaime Pressly references: 5 |
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| [::..Archive..::] |
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Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time
Even If You're Fat And Rich, You're Still Screwed
Because we needed this study to tell us money can't buy happiness* and this one to tell us fat people actually are not more jolly than the rest of us.
So the next time someone tries to set me up on a date by using the catch-phrase "she is sooooo jolly" I will see right through it. I'll know they mean she is really thin and hot.
So, really, what is the benefit to being fat if you can't sit around smugly eating your second box of Krispy Kreme's secure in the knowledge that you're happier than the rest of us?. I, for one, am happy to hear someone finally did this study. I have gotten tired of fat people always lording it over me because they are supposedly so much happier than I am. And I'm tired of them making jokes about me not shopping in the 'stout' section of department stores. End intolerance toward thin people now.
This is one time I think more money should be thrown at studies. We have improved as a society now that fat people can't continue to act superior because of their innate happiness.
Now they should do a study proving that men with small hands and sports cars don't have small penises. Because I am really fed up with that one too.
*See the full study here. Their studies also show Republicans are happier than Democrats. But that's because we're all Oil Barons.
posted by Buckaroo at 7:57 AM |
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