Top 10 Reasons My
Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:
10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.
9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most
8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with
Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.
7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.
6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there
before you order or it's free!"
4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!
3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna
2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in
... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light
car is ...
1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
What Cool Scientists Are
Listening To - Click Links Below
- Being Simple
:: Viva K - Does It Matter?
:: The Ark - One
Of Us Is Gonna Die Young
:: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway
:: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train
:: Phish - Gin And Juice
:: The Whigs -
:: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool
:: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall
:: Richard Swift - As I Go
:: Snowglobe - Rainbow
Unique IPs the past month: 8755
Number of countries that read this blog: 54
Percentage of visitors who stay more than 20 minutes: 16%
Most hits by Country - USA, England, Japan
Queso Fresco Cheese References: 3
Cocaine references: 7
Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2
Jaime Pressly references: 5
Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time
Scientific Fun For The Weekend Saturday morning. Make an air gun that shoots tampons. Some PVC, a few tampon vending tubes and a whole mess of tampons. Conveniently, I keep all that around the house for emergencies. Later Saturday morning. Shoot brother with tampon gun. Let's face it, men don't even like going to the store to buy tampons. He's really going to hate being shot with them. Maybe even as much as Mel Gibson hates Jews. Saturday afternoon: Find a way to work "I have unnaturally high levels of testosterone" into a joke. If this guy Floyd Landis can win the Tour De France and get to brag about testosterone levels, he is our new hero. Hope Leno doesn't get to the joke first. Saturday evening: Orgy of unprotected sex with supermodels. Sunday morning: Order the Collette - Action Hooker toy doll for my niece. It's French, and that means culture. We could all use a little culture. Sunday afternoon: Write the definitive scientific treatise on the blogger community. Some people are overwhelmed by the number of choices out there. It's quite simple, really. Start here, then go wherever. Sunday evening: Accept a collect call from this girl: She says she isn't a convict but I am not sure. Orange isn't her color so that makes me a little suspicious. Sunday night. Watch Footballers' Wives. You thought I was going to say 'have another orgy of unprotected sex with supermodels', didn't you? Fooled you. Scientists are nothing if not diverse.
posted by Buckaroo at 11:50 AM
0 attempts to be as funny as a scientist
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