Top 10 Reasons My
Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:
10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.
9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most
8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with
Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.
7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.
6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there
before you order or it's free!"
4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!
3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna
2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in
... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light
car is ...
1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
What Cool Scientists Are
Listening To - Click Links Below
- Being Simple
:: Viva K - Does It Matter?
:: The Ark - One
Of Us Is Gonna Die Young
:: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway
:: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train
:: Phish - Gin And Juice
:: The Whigs -
:: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool
:: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall
:: Richard Swift - As I Go
:: Snowglobe - Rainbow
Unique IPs the past month: 8755
Number of countries that read this blog: 54
Percentage of visitors who stay more than 20 minutes: 16%
Most hits by Country - USA, England, Japan
Queso Fresco Cheese References: 3
Cocaine references: 7
Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2
Jaime Pressly references: 5
Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time
Quick Scientific Hits For The Weekend Enjoying your Ipod? Why not just chain an Asian kid to your radiator and make them work for you? Scientists will find it a lot tougher to get laid because of this website. Hate the game, not the scientist. Your kid will never need to watch Thomas The Tank Engine again. Why? Because I am making a kids' series called "The Little Spaceship That Could" and it will be about Voyager 1, because it just keeps going and going and going. People keep asking me about the three new planets and how we will remember them. I am more concerned about how kids will ever take astrophysicists seriously again. Can you hear a kid asking, "What do you mean last week there were 9 planets and now there are 12? I am supposed to believe you people about vague things like the definition of a point or what a magnetic field is or how there can be Evolution without actual fossils and you can't even figure out how many planets there are?" I agree it's a huge blow for science. But back to the issue of how to remember the names of these new planets. It's easy. Just make two more sword and sorcery TV shows about lesbians: Because there's nothing young scientists like more than shows about lesbians where they can learn things too.
posted by Buckaroo at 2:18 PM
2 attempts to be as funny as a scientist
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