Image Hosted by
Image Hosted by
Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:
10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.
9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.
8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.
7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.
6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"
4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!
3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.
2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!
... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...
1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"
What Cool Scientists Are Listening To - Click Links Below
:: Cash - Being Simple
:: Viva K - Does It Matter?
:: The Ark - One Of Us Is Gonna Die Young
:: The Donnas - Roll On Down The Highway
:: Billy Joe Shaver - Georgia On A Fast Train
:: Phish - Gin And Juice
:: The Whigs - Technology
:: Marit Larsen - Only A Fool
:: Euphoria - Back Against The Wall
:: Richard Swift - As I Go
:: Snowglobe - Rainbow
Get all the Cash you can stand.
Site Statistics
Unique IPs the past month: 8755
Number of countries that read this blog: 54
Percentage of visitors who stay more than 20 minutes: 16%
Most hits by Country - USA, England, Japan
Queso Fresco Cheese References: 3
Cocaine references: 7
Queso Fresco Cheese References As Allegories for Cocaine: 2
Jaime Pressly references: 5
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006

Making The World Safe For Science - One Supermodel At A Time

What Is The Anagram of ... Solomon Hercules Atlas Zeus Achilles Mercury?

That's right.  It spells S-C-I-E-N-T-I-S-T, baby.  Sure, you are used to me being a science guru and, on occasion, a Formula One race car driver who solves mysteries on TV, but unless you are a long-time reader you are probably not aware I am also a superhero.

I discovered I was a superhero this one time when a guy cut me off on the highway and I followed him off the exit and then we stopped at a red light and I bench-pressed his car and slept with his girlfriend. I knew then I wasn't like other scientists ... namely, because I could get a date.

Like all great superheroes, I have a secret underground lair. It's called "The Lab." And I have a cool costume, but I can't show you that because you already know my secret identity.

There are critical times when some emergency calls and I must go from being mild-mannered scientist to superhero quickly. Usually the emergency involves alcohol and strippers but sometimes it involves cats being stuck in trees and stuff. Even if it's a minor emergency like a cat I go anyway - because you just can't take the superhero out of scientists. It would be like taking the chicken wings out of Syracuse.*

So how do I go from ordinary lab to secret underground lair "The Lab" when those emergencies occur?  Well, you've all seen Batman and the bat pole and the bat cave and all that stuff.  My process is remarkably similar.

I just twist these breast-shaped knobs and a hidden passageway opens up and inside "The Lab" I go:

Image Hosted by

Originally those were sold for shampoo but I filled mine with Gatorade and, let me tell you, they work just fine.

Things like those cat-stuck-in-tree emergencies I can handle with no problem. When it happened yesterday, I simply said to the old lady, "Just wait, he'll come down when he's hungry."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Well, have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" I replied.

That was an easy one but cats in trees don't come along every day. Sometimes things really get difficult and when that happens a good science superhero needs a hottie science teacher/superheroine by his side. The hottest science teacher superheroine - okay, the only one - is Isis who, coincidentally, has made this site for the second time in two weeks. It's okay, because she looks like this:

I can't speak for any of you but when she says "Faster zephyr winds" that way, the little scientist in me goes SHAZAM all over again.

*Email I got within 5 minutes of posting that sentence: I think it's Buffalo.
My reply: No, it's chicken. Spicy chicken.

posted by Buckaroo at 6:00 AM |

0 attempts to be as funny as a scientist

Email The Lab

or Direct Link This Post or Add to or reddit or Spurl or ma.gnolia or newsvine or even Digg us.

What Cool Scientists Are Wearing:
Click Here To Get Your Own "Science And Supermodels" Stuff!
Essential Scientific Articles
The Top 10 Mysteries Of Science
Can't Get A Date? Science Has The Answer!
Science Gets You More Sex - Again
USA Scientists Extend Dominance, Make Black Holes Their Bitch
When Bad Science Hurts Good Women
Parting The Red Sea - Science Explains That
Women Cheat Us Again - This Time By Using Evolution
The Science Of Freak Magnets
Some Scientific Equations Can't Be Solved, Like This One: W*0^M = N
Everything I Need To Know About Business I Learned From Watching WEIRD SCIENCE
Want To Cure Global Warming? Make Really Big Sunglasses
Albinoes Versus Sexy Skeleton Zombies
Paris Hilton Is Like Mother Teresa - Only Naked
A Physicists Guide To Relationships
How To Have An Earthquake In Japan - Guaranteed
Maybe E is not equal to MC^2?
Einstein 101
Mapping The Genome
Why Schools Are Better Today
An Argument For Concubines
Newest Buddha Is Skinny - Fat People Blame The Media;;
What Sites Cool Scientists Are Reading
:: Scientific Blogging
:: Science And Supermodels Main Site
:: The Contrarian Scientist
:: Real Science Blogs
:: Build Cool Stuff! Get Your Schematics Here
:: We Are Scientists - because singing scientists are funny too.
:: Fun Things With Electricity - not sex either, perv.
:: News, Links & Supermodels
:: Intelligent Technology
:: Write Me To Get Your Link Put Here
::Blogroll Me!
Blah, Blah, Blah
Top Technology Blogs
Top blogs
Top Blogs
Top100 Bloggers
Atom Site Feed
Web Blog Pinging Service
Subscribe with Bloglines
Blogarama - The Blog Directory
Search4Blogs Blogs Directory
Subscribe in NewsGator Online
Blog-Watch - The Blog Directory
blog search directory
Blog Directory & Search engine
Subscribe to Science And Supermodels
Technology Blogs
Technology Blogs
Performancing BlogRank
Top Blog Lists
Listed on BlogShares
Open your own web store
Powered by Blogger™
page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?